Suicide letters that haven't met the envelope
Lookin at the pen wantin to jab tha damn thing in my throat
Years in my life no one suspected that I looked at knives
The same way many others did when they took their lives
Convinced people hated me and wanted to be away from me
Do away wit me so plain to me they want put a tre eight in me
And wit a swift squeeze turn my heart to Swiss cheese
Dyin wish let me give my mama one more kiss please
A target, a throw rug, won't be nuthin when I grow up
My grades and behavior so bad it made me throw up
And every gril I had either cheated or let me go
Cried every night prayin to God to just put me below
6 feet of dirt and rock just make the hurtin stop
Cuz if I die it wouldn't matter my life ain't worth a lot
The worse it got the more it made me want to do it
And go through it until God gave me the talent of music
Who would have though suicide would change my life
I was in constant confusion, anger, strife
If it wasn't the question of death I was facin
It was me committin suicide to positive situations
Opportunities I should have ran after but neglected
Friends and family I fatally disrespected
Gambles and gambits I thought would boost me ahead
But would fall on bad luck and damn near left me for dead
People got hurt around me and won't trust me again
Hearts I broke to the point we couldn't just be friend
And the girl I'm wit now my main concern
And how she still loves me even though some lessons I shoulda learned
God forbid she leaves me cut her I bet she bleeds me
I screw up and felt like leavin but that death is less than easy
And I don't want her to suffer like I don't want her to die
Like a part of me whenever I see her beautiful face cry
Now it's grown from suicidal to do or die now
If it's die you don't want to be the first to find out
Sick of bein sad sick of lookin at sharp edges
Cleanin my internal car crash of my heart's wreakage
Change my nights in tears to rhymes that strike the fear
And wrath of the Almighty in eyes and ears
Now I go for the heart like I'm tryna kill somethin
Be a new Scarface to get you to feel somethin
And for whatever reason you want to hate me now
Hate on cuz all that hate will just make me proud
You can't break me down I'm invincible as a sentinel
A pinnacle not subliminal and unforgettable
Took off the razor blade bracelet cuz now I can face it
And spit poison at em whenever I can taste it
This is real now and I will not leave it wasted
So you gon have to kill me if you want to replace it