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".{.Memoirs of my [suicidal] thoughts.}..."
  by Kat Nicole


.its P E R F E C T.
this plan I've stumbled upon
through careful
contemplation..
its perfect
the way I shall
control my
E
X
I
T
from this place
its perfect
that you all find me strong
yet this worlds struggles
make me
w e a k
its perfect
so quick
no pain resulting in
days of pure un-detection
.its P E R F E C T.
this plan I've plotted out
for myself
so selfish & uncaring

"close the curtains and take a bow"

its perfect
how unique
yet oddly conventional
this will be
maybe not textbook worthy
but at least
F
I
R
S
T
page small news
its perfect
the way life U N F O L D S
with all its seemingly
within reach hopes
all a complete P E R F E C T
facade
of the real cruel reality
lies
pain
deception
and hurt
its all too perfect
this
E
N
D
of this chapter
the turning of the last page
reading of a crushed girls dreams
its perfect
timing of a
?FUCKED? up constant
sequences of circumstances
providing the very cause
for my effect
.its P E R F E C T.
this plan to
s l i p away
to disappear into [ space ]
with no air
no more negatives displaced
its perfect
the preciseness of this method
of creating a destination
out of chaos
its perfect
drops onto cold linoleum
forming a symmetrical circle
of deaths suffocation
around wrists
and solid uncompromising hands
its perfect
it really is perfect
when light gives
solutions to the dark
its like having 20/20 vision
to write this conclusion
of a heroic end
its all so
P
I
C
T
U
R
E
P E R F E C T.



[[Disclaimer]] --- this is not my suicide note. I don't plan to kill myself. Its just a piece from my mind. Deep and often distorted.
© 2000-2008 GS Poetry. All rights reserved.
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Date Submitted: Jul 03, 2008 (03:16 PM)
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Viewed: 95 times
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Rating: Rating of 1Rating of 2Rating of 3Rating of 4Rating of 5Rating of 6Rating of 7Rating of 8Rating of 9Rating of 10 (1,036,124 Points)
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Poem Favorited By: 2 Members
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comment icon  COMMENTS (7)
  thereelest
10/08/08 (02:57 PM) 
Its P E R F E C T, this piece that you've created. Dark and bleak and says so much. I loved this. Oh, and nice of you to put that disclaimer at the bottom. I became a bit concerned halfway through the poem. Lol.

  Jonathan Robin...
10/01/08 (12:20 PM) 
strange enough....I had taken so many blows like this that it became something I constantly held deep down inside. Took alot of blame for things that happened that I thought were my fault, I became emotionally overwhelmed and my soul was completely broken. It seems fortunate that I had the opportunity to have people who've already went through what I went through and able to tell their story and go on with nothing but courage.

  PoeticSoulja
07/22/08 (04:25 PM) 
The morbid beauty of a poet's mind can be stunning but yet impressive at the same time.I just created a paradox with that morbid beauty statement lol Your words made it seem so realistic to the readers.Thanks for writing this wondrous poem Kat :P

  PoeticYungn
07/14/08 (11:01 PM) 
wow...I can feel the emotions jumping off the page....I'm loving it 10 starzzzz...much luv and respect

  Will Shakes
07/04/08 (10:51 PM) 
yo!!!! this is wild shawty. usin poetry as a means of suicide.... to kill the old you's past, humiliation, deciet, and interactions..... deep baby, deep.... 10 stackz

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