About Me:
Relishing growth, hating age, and fondly remembering a time when snitches really got stitches, cigarettes was $2.15, and you could catch me somewhere in east baltimore being my brother's keeper...................................
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Little Johnny is in school, and the Teacher says "For today's lesson class, we will be learning the word 'contagious', and how to use it in a sentence. Can anyone give me an example of how this word might be used?"
Little Johnny is the only kid to put up his hand. The teacher says "No one else?", looks around and then reluctantly says "Okay little Johnny, use 'contagious' in a sentence."
Little johnny says "MY daddy used it today. He went to the front window and saw my mom mowing the grass. Then he said What the fuck's she doing using the push-mower? It'll take that cunt ages!
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Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses."
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