DownAzzNinja's Member Profile

You left 34 poem comments

Commented on the poem "Suicide" on 11/19/08 at 07:29 PM

How edgy. You know, I sit back and wonder why people have been arguing about this religion-and-life-after-death-thing for so long. Why there is a "metaphysical" section in the poetry feild. I mean, sure there have got to be forces unseen working on us daily, but hell, they are probably somewhat close to electromagnatism and gravity. We are here ya know? Right now, and with all the figurative language, personification, we throw around we should know by reading the Koran, bible, Torah, or religious pamphlet, that while Jesus, Muhammed, and Buddah were vain enough to think they could explain to us the truth; that heaven and hell exist right here. "I am a good man, and there is only two things that can happen when I die, I got to heaven, or I go to sleep... Everyone loves a good nights sleep" -Socrates

Commented on the poem "ABOUT ENTROPY..." on 11/19/08 at 07:23 PM

Your figurative writing is right there. It is like a cat on a table, pacing back and forth along the edge, pondering the jump, waiting, and pacing some more. It happens, but I want to know what Despair said as Hope hit the deck, did he shank her with a sneer on his face, did he kick her when she was down. The personification is cool and always a plus and interesting, but I want to know more. Also, entropy needs more personality... Thats the title, and yes if anyone took chemistry, physics, or read a micheal crighton book they would know the rundown on entropy. But build your title in into your poem and vice versa. I was expecting this sweet exponentially decreasing love story, who's sum was dark and gray once I heard entropy was a "fucking bitch" ya dig? Your work reminds me of my writing. Keep at it. I would re-write this poem with the exact same words. Better punctuation and capitalization. You have to understand, writing is like food, its gotta look good to taste good. ;) Nice...

Commented on the poem "CONFLICT" on 11/19/08 at 07:14 PM

Mind body and soul, lured by dimension with infinite tension. Self awareness and hope falls to tragic dialogue, bandwagon depression and the chance accident. Answer me one thing... what would life be if we never opened any doors for ourself. Amazingly cute little girls still get hit by cars... it is not our fault.... remember?

Commented on the poem "Brain wave patterns" on 11/19/08 at 07:07 PM

There is no use talking about the trail, explaining its wonders and pitfalls, but there is wisdom in preparing, and divinity in the trek itself. Regrets suck. They are like huge hidden rocks in a lake, and daily you swing out above the lake by a rope. Letting go.

Commented on the poem "Bubbles" on 11/19/08 at 07:03 PM

Damn... you spread it on thick here. If rhymes were rock I could not carry this poem to show it to anyone. I am not strong enough. I think I understand though. The gift of a puppy dog, along with a hug is not going to remedy four years of distrust and pain. Then again, the right smile at the right time can shift orbits.