Blog Entry
I close my mind and cut it off from the rest of the world. I guard it like the most precious treasure chest of gold and diamonds. No one can ever see the contents of my locked heart, or the pain and secrets that exist within the darkest recesses of my mind. They see only the skin that covers the outside, but nobody notices the whirlwind inside of my head or the black hole that is slowly forming in my heart. I strain my eyes and ears attempting to see a small shed of light or hear the sounds from the trumpets of the angels. So when I hear people tell me I should have an open mind, I laugh within myself "If only they knew the truth." I know the pains and hurts of this world, I know the evils that stalk those who try to stay on the "righteous" path, and I know the darkness that engulfs those who search for the light. I used to be one of those open minded individuals who walked the narrow path, but now I see differently. I walk a much darker path, one less traveled. I remember taking my first steps on this road and how my mind, heart, and soul where bombarded with savage anger, indescribable pain, and an overall feeling of helplessness. But I learned how to close my mind to these dark, maddening images and sounds. So now I walk a road with my mind close, because I know when I open it up again all that awaits me are demons, most of whom are of my own creation. So yes, I do not have an open mind because I cannot walk my path with a vulnerable heart. Instead my mind will stay closed, cut off from the rest of the world.