My eyes dont close at night anymore
my usual night ritual is stareing at the white ceiling in my room now
cuz its a girl in my bed
but its not you


even tho your sound asleep next to me
so innocently smilin in ur sleep
not knowin whats goin on in my head and my heart
im glad you dont
bcuz if u did, your smile would never return.
bcuz fear would have permanently settled in
sometimes my eyes decieve me when i look at you
my arms fail me in rememberence of touch when im holdin you
my lips are confused by the taste when im kissin you
and my mouth dares not to speak when im in the bed with you
in fear of whisperin the wrong name
cuz its a girl in my bed
but that girl aint you


i pray you'd get on ya jasmine sullivan and buss the windows not to my ride
but to my heart
so i cant see the other pleasures outside of this home we have made
and so i cant see her standin at the door
tryna come in
i know i love you hard but maybe not hard enough
to fight these temptations
and fight these thoughts
cuz i keep on rememberin
her
the girl b4 you
the girl i left for you
she stole my heart
and u want it
but i dont have the strength to get it back
and give it too you
and what makes me feel so bad
is i dont have the enicitive to do so
i feel like i dont wanna fight her
cuz deep down..
in my heart
in the corner hiding away from the shattered glass of my hearts windows
it wants her to still have it

baby you been so good 2 me
and now i see what my mama meant when she said
you can fall in love with what a person does for you
how they treat you
cuz this didnt start as love
but the way you started to heal me
i loved you
i trust you.
faster then anyone

but my heart and my mind are fightin in a cold war
i know i need to stay with you
bcuz my heart has love for you
but more then anything my heart longs and loves her

i hate this choke hold she has on my heart
cuz its interfering with letting our love breath
i feel like dying sometimes from the confusion guilt and pain
i feel like runnin away from the lust and the fame
the fame i see us havin
me and...her
i can see her makin it just like me
and i can see her makin it with me
that beyonce and jay
damn bae..

im bout to fuck up

cuz i want her
sometimes i feel i need her

but she broke me so bad..
i feel so sad knowing i wudd rather risk goin back then bein safe with the person
who loves me
needs me
takes care of my heart
so tightly but so softly holds it and protects it from that pain to
ever come again

baby i dont wanna wake you from your dream with me
but i dont want you to have a rude awakening

i never sleep anymore
i look at this ceiling
i scratch my head and i cry inside
i grip my cellphone recitin her number over and over
and scrollin by her name over
and over
and over
and over
till her name is all i see
and blinds me from seein you

cuz your layin next to me
but your not what i see

i aint cheatin..
but damn...

its another girl in my bed