I've always been humble
Feelings being flaunted
like bare skin
with only me
uncomfortable wearing them
others cared not for my personal display
other than to use what they could use
and throw the rest away

discarded daily
somehow made me inured
to the judgment of those
who were really
much less secured

I came to grips with the fact that
some like to use
and by many men
as a child I was abused

What came of it was
a genuine disbelief in love
from anything other than
my Father above
And even though
I'm sometimes haunted
by those shadows today
I hug the little girl in me
til the pain goes away

I know that I'm broken
Just a patchwork quilt
aged by time
worn and frayed
by personal guilt

I've run from the world
for dealing bad hands
repressed feelings
for the sake of
appearances
because no one
would understand

It makes a difference to me
when you say no one cares
Because I'd like you know
when you speak
I can hear

Just to feel Ok each day
Took me
a really long time
Constant acting
is like always being on an
uphill climb
I finally found a place where
I don't have to act
I finally get to say
what I need to
and you all accept it
just like that

And you...
you demonstrate
expressing your feelings
in ways
I had to learn
I was taught from
long ago
to never speak out of turn

You laugh,
You love,
You yell
You cry
just being yourself
so abundantly

And no matter how effed up
you might think you are

How you feel
makes a difference to me