I sit upon the thrill
of that jagged little pill
indulge, if you will
while you're not returning
my calls - I withdraw
from the see-saw + back & forth
taking all that I can see and
regretting what I saw
I saw you with him, happier
than you were - with me
I'm sorry, baby! please, come back
but that fantasy's a facade
I would've prayed to God
but He's pissed that I've disgruntled
a sure thing and threw it away
but hey - I've got this bottle
to keep me company - along with
a few blue's and green's to take
me down the rabbit hole - while
you pick up the pieces of our life
I loved you - but, sometimes
love isn't enough
especially when the bills get
bigger and my paycheck diminishes
and you're tired of the excuses
and the sex has become stale
I understand now, why you left me
in the first place...
...I was in second place, the whole time
my third person mentality, held you
back from where you needed to be
I stand here upon his ledge, watching
you hold his hand- while you laugh
at the jokes that I used to tell you
after a night of dinner and a movie
you used to look at me like that
you used to kiss me like you kiss him now
it's fucked up, but I deserve it
I'm in a Tank of turmoil - I'm the One man
that didn't see the light before
the rapture of your scorn
my wings are already scorched
so I might as well, fall - like Lucifer
did while Lilith lulled Samael
and Adam - the apples in the tree
seemed juicer at the time
...and I used to be a poet amidst
rhyme, but my pen simply weeps
smeared truths of confessions
that kind that you yearned to hear
when I came in - late night, Patron-reeked
and pretending you were someone else
you cursed me with your tears
and this still affects me, years in the present
the gift that I gave up and handed it
to the arms of another man was - You
[the dragon that is in the sea] between
the conflict of a consequence that I crafted
in the aftermath of an adult affair - I swear
this is the truth that I bear
as I fall from the sky and into oblivion
while you walk away
and never hear a thing...