I need to ask you
for my womanhood back
I forgot
how to roar
since you slapped my left cheek
is that sane of me to say?
but im sitting in dark rooms
feeling
your stiletos pressed against my lower spine
and I cant
seem to find a way out
of the fear
its getting hard
to carry this half shelled body
around
preaching about strength in me
when you
leave me
weaker than
wet paper towels
when you
shove my face
into concrete
is that love?
my lower lip
hanging torn
dripping life
into soil?
ive been told many of times im wrong
but
then I bump into those nights
where you
tell me how beautiful
I am and promise
eternity
with a fist full of my hair
and a strap of my bra
caught between your teeth
it hurts
and...
im supposed to be so damn fucken strong?
but I cant
not when
bruises show from under long sleeves
and sunglasses cover
swollen purple eyes.
I
hate
the
me
you’ve forced me
to slide into
remember you told me youd never become my dad
when I wept in your arms
and explained
how he'd beat me so bad
I slept under the table
just so he couldn’t reach me?
you’ve left me
so weak
I don’t even have
energy to hate you
im laying
right where you tossed me
neck limp to my side
arms caved into my rib cages
ears flung
to the other side of the moon.
and all I want
is
my dignity back
just so
I can yelp
for a
tiny
bit of
help.

So what would you say if
I asked for my womanhood back?