1st Encounter...
It happened when I was about 12
Playing stoop ball with friends it came down to earth with a loud SPLAT!
Just missing us by inches, we stood around examining it...
What is it? I asked...My friends broke out in laughter and wonderment.
It must've come from the 5th floor from the force of the impact.
It was nasty, but they never said what it was...we continued our game.

2nd Encounter...
Age 14: While playing two-hand touch football my mom calls me to the window.
MAVRICK! I need you to go to the store...AWWHH MOM!..NOW!!...okay
She needed napkins for the dinner table...
I run to the store, grab a bag, and run back home
we continue our game...then...MAVRICK!...yes mommy?
come upstairs...awhh man!!
U need to take this back to the store!...Why?..this is the WRONG thing.
But it's napkins mom...No! Not this kind..Why?..
She just laughed saying you gotta take this back
I plead..but I don't understand..why can't you use these for the table?
its "Clean Napkins", "Sanitary" means clean...she's in tears laughing at this point,
but made me go back to the store...

3rd Encounter...
Age 19: Knowing what my 1st two encounters were now I felt stupid...
But I got over it...My live-in girlfriend ask'd me to go to the store for her
to get some....I refused....but later in life I had frequent encounters.
Working for an Advertising Print Shop I even Typeset a Stayfree Ad...
New and Improved with Arm & Hammer Baking Soda...
What The Hell!!!...My mind travelled...Well if it kills refrigerator odors!
Okay...

4th Encounter...
Age 43: Being the father of two teenage daughters...
I AM THE KING OF FEMININE ABSORBTION!!!!
Dry Weave
Leak Guard
Barriers
Breathable Oder Lock Layer
Flexi-Wings, Non-Wings
Regular, Regular Fresh
Long Super, Long Super Fresh
Overnight
Maximum Protection
Ultra Thins
Pantiliners

They've taken me to the planet ALWAYS and made me their RULER!!!!

AND NOW I'M THE GOD OF PROTECTION AND ABSORBTION!!!...PERIOD!!!
MMUUUWWAHHH!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!